Let’s assume that the guy you are dating is also dating another woman.
He is not married to her neither has he been in a long-term relationship with her. You are kind of equal in terms of how long he has known you both for.
Now you want to know how you can get him to want a committed relationship with you instead of with the other woman.
First, men love to be in that type of dilemma. It just really soothes their ego when there are two women who want to be with them.
He probably tells you things like, that what he has with you is something special and that he just really connects with you. However, he also tells you that he feels responsible for the other woman and that there just wasn’t the right time to tell her just yet that he will leave her. That he wants to wait for the right moment.
The whole situation makes you feel uncomfortable. After all, who wants to be the second choice right? Especially with the man you are in love with.
After hearing his excuses for a while you get suspicious. You are asking yourself whether he really needs more time to break up with the other woman or if he never intended to break up with her in the first place.
In any case, you want him to commit to you and to leave the other woman behind.
First of all: Don’t be fooled by his excuses.
Really and truly him finding all different types of excuses is an attempt to keep that triangle relationship alive as long as possible. Being admired by two women is way too flattering for him.
If he had intended to break up with the other woman, he would have done this by now.
So how do you get him to step out of this triangular relationship into a relationship with you?
A man will always go for the woman whom he finds more interesting. The one who he can’t be 100% sure off.
The last thing you want to do is to fight for him! Don’t try to convince him in any way that you are the better choice.
Because it will make you look needy and desperate. If you are trying to convince him to be with you, you are essentially chasing him.
This is completely the opposite from how women think. A woman who is looking for a serious and committed relationship and who has to decide between two men, usually goes with the one who puts more effort in to get her.
With the one who proves that he is the perfect fit for her. The one who seems to be more serious about being with her and who wants to commit to her.
However, you cannot translate this way of thinking to men. Men are different.
At this early stage men don’t think that far in the future. They don’t imagine what the relationship would be like if he stays with you or with the other woman.
Neither will a man make a decision based on which woman likes him more but rather on the feeling they have for the woman right in this moment.
There is a crucial difference between how men and women develop feelings and the desire to be with someone in a relationship.
Another difference between men and women is, that women develop feelings when they are with a man. Men on the opposite side are developing feelings when they are not with the woman. When they miss you because you are not there anymore.
But what does this mean for you? How do you get him to want to be with you and only you?
First, here is what you cannot do under any circumstances! No discussion, no ifs and no buts.
You don’t try to convince him that you are the perfect woman for him. You don’t tell him over and over again, that you have fallen head over heels in love with him. That you would do anything for him to get him to commit to you.
What you need to do instead is:
You need to be unpredictable and you need to pull away.
This is what I mean by that.
Make him fear to lose you. You don’t nag or complain, or even worse threaten to leave him.
Instead, you give him the freedom to do what he wants to do while you are pulling away from him.
I know how hard this can be. Pulling away from someone you are already scared of losing seems completely nuts.
However, this is your only chance to get him to want to be with you and only you. You have to act counter intuitive. Instead of chasing him, you need to step back and basically let him go.
By pulling away you will not only earn his respect, but now he will start to fear that he will be losing you!
No woman who respects and loves herself will agree to stay in a triangle relationship with a guy who keeps finding excuses to not make the decision to be with her.
By giving him the freedom to do whatever he wants, but you being less available and not needy, all of the sudden his freedom will become less important to him. The other woman will become less interesting and all he wants will be you.
Also, always remember that until the moment he asks you to be exclusive with him you are free to date who ever you want to date. Which I strongly recommend you do.
Read my blog post about ‘The power of being able to control your emotions” where I talk about the differences between a man’s and a woman’s love needs. Reading this post will make you understand why you need to act counter intuitive.
Do you have a question regarding dating? Drop me a private message on Instagram.
Also join my Facebook group Mindful Seduction with like minded women.