Have you ever wondered why you only get wimpy guys and never the ones you are actually want?
You know the type of man I’m taking about. The confident, determined, masculine ones. Men who are calm under pressure, who you can rely on no matter what. Someone you can look up to and respect rather than looking down on them. Someone who is emotionally strong. Not those wimpy guys who can’t handle you.
If you are only ever attracting wimpy guys I have an explanation for you that may surprise you.
Here it goes…
In times of equality between genders, women often have to step into their masculinity.
Pretty much everything women needed a man for in the past, we don’t need them for today.
We are strategically planning our career to then put our foot down in an often male dominated work environment. We are able to look after ourselves financially.
Strategic thinking, analytical thinking and looking after the family finances are all traditionally associated with men.
Looking after the home, keeping it clean, tidy and homely, organising social events with family and friends, bringing up children, nurturing them and caring for them are usually are associated with women.
At the same time women have to look sexy, be happy, thankful and always in the mood for having sex.
No doubt, women often literally have to fight themselves through their lifes. At least that’s what many of us believe.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for what we have achieved in term of equality between women and men. I think we are living in amazing times when women can stand on their own feet. Today we don’t need a man. At least not when it comes to him being our provider.
There is a flip side to women having to be strong all the time. Whilst being strong is often necessary, showing men how strong you are likely only attracts wimpy guys.
I often hear strong woman say: ‘I can do this myself. I don’t need a man to help me with this.’ But here is the thing, by saying this you are actually keeping guys at arm length away from you. It is a way to stay safe and to not get hurt as you don’t have to trust that he won’t let you down. And I totally get that. You probably have been let down by one or the other man in your life. Having left you alone you had to accomplish all the above mentioned points on your own. You are trying to protect yourself.
If you think about it, it is actually a weakness in the sense that you need constant validation that you are strong enough, good enough to do whatever that needs to be done by yourself. You are proving to yourself that you don’t need a man. But unfortunately it also shows men that you don’t need them.
And here lies the problem. First, this tells the guy that you don’t trust him which is poison for any relationship.
Second, a strong, masculine guy won’t hang around if you don’t let him be strong and masculine!
Makes sense, right?
So, what do you need to do to make a strong guy stay with you? It’s easy. Let him look after and comfort you. Asking for help every now and then and appreciate the things he wants to do for you without telling him by saying that you can do this by yourself.
Of course you don’t have to constantly ask him for his help. This can put off a guy as well as it often looks needy. But be the woman who can do things herself but appreciates it when a guy offers you his help.
Give him the chance to look after you and to care for you. Let him feel manly in your presence so he knows that he is able to give you what you need. That he is good enough for you.
It takes strength and trust to take on help. Guys can sense this. If you do everything by yourself they will know that you don’t find them good enough. This way you are creating your own misery and will continue to only attract weak guys. Let him be the man while you are complimenting him as the feminine part.
That doesn’t mean that you need to be weak. In fact, taking on help, even knowing that you could do it on your own actually is you being strong. And it’s also a lot more fun 😉
If you have a love question you need help with drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.