Hey Lovely, this is the second part of HOW TO HEAL A BROKEN HEART. To get the most out of this post you should read part one first. You can find the post here.
How to heal a broken heart #4 (bruised heart): Forgive yourself
Forgive yourself for the things you believe you could have done differently. Be kind, understanding and compassionate with yourself.
There are reasons why you’ve acted the way you did.
It always amazes me how harsh we can talk to ourselves. In a way we would not dare to talk with anyone else. Especially not with someone who is hurt and we love and care about.
After you’ve explored your feelings in step #3 now is the time to look at your experience from a more objective / rational level.
Detaching your experience from your feelings has something empowering to it and makes it clear to you why you did the things you did.
What you need to find out is WHY you have acted this way or why you stayed with him even though there were red flags all over?
Is there a pattern in your life? Think about what all your experiences have in common. Ones you see the link between your experiences you can start working on breaking the pattern.
How to heal a broken heart #5 (bruised heart): Give yourself closure
When you are the one who was left or has been betrayed a natural reaction is for you to want closure. By looking for closure you are looking for answers to ease those painful feelings. And if you are honest there is always the hope that you or him could say or do something that changes everything and you can go back to how it was before.
As you probably know yourself, getting an answer is not always possible.
He would have to take responsibility for his true feelings and give an honest answer to you who is still in love with him and who’s feelings are deeply hurt. Not an easy task to do which is why most people tend to not tell the full truth. This goes for men as well as for women.
Even if you would have that last conversation with him. His view of what has happened may be completely different to yours which would lead to more arguing and disagreement.
And then there is still the hard part that you need to accept his decision no matter what.
The truth is that only you can give yourself closure. I know you don’t like to hear this. But this is a good thing! Why? Because if you can give yourself closure you are not at his mercy.
Being at the mercy from someone else essentially means that you are stuck in a victim mentality. It means that you are putting him in the way of your happiness.
By making the mind shift to being in charge of how you think and feel about yourself puts you from the passenger seat into the driver seat.
You can feel hurt, miss him and move on at the same time.
By acknowledging that he has hurt you and that you have to cure your pain without him you are acknowledging that it is your responsibility to let go so you can be happy again.
It will take time and emotional work to truly forgive yourself and to give yourself closure, put it lies within your own power. And that’s good news!
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