There you are. Heartbroken. You are hurt, angry, distressed, hopeless and incredibly disappointed.
You feel like someone has just pulled away the ground under below your feet.
Having your heart broken feels overwhelming. And healing your broken heart takes time and effort.
Science says that the symptoms we are suffering during a heartbreak are similar to the withdrawal symptoms suffered by an addict going through a withdrawal.
I’m not surprised by this comparison.
Other studies say that going through a break up makes us experience the same pain as we are experiencing when a beloved person has passed away.
No matter what explanation you can relate to, everybody who has experienced a break up knows how pain full this is.
Questions like “How can I move on?”, or “How will I ever be able to make it through this pain?” – are coming up.
Feeling helpless gives us the impression that we will never be able to find love again. And the only one who can make us happy again is the person who has left us.
As hard as this situation is for you, you need to find a way to move on.
The sooner the better.
The last thing you want to do is to get lost in those sad feelings that give you the impression that all is lost and that you will never be able to love again.
While this is of course not true, I completely understand that you feel this way.
Today I’m giving you 5 tips that will help you to get through that pain and to heal your broken heart after a breakup.
Tip to heal your broken heart number one: Acceptance
As hard as it is, you need to accept that your ex-partner has decided to move on without you.
This means you need to stop thinking of strategies on how to get him back. And what you could say to him to make him change his mind.
Only when you accept his decision you will be able to move on.
Tip to heal your broken heart number two: Stop obsessing about the breakup.
What I mean by this is to be thinking over and over and over again about what has happened. You know that loop-thinking when you go over and over about the same situations.
I know this is a lot easier said than done, but this is important. Because by constantly thinking about him you are literally wiring your brain to even think more intensively and more frequently about him.
By doing this you make your body believe that you are experiencing the breakup over and over again every single time you think about it/him.
This is because your brain doesn’t know the difference between what is actually happening or whether you are ‘only’ thinking about it. The moment you are thinking about something with an intensive emotion your brain believes this is happening right now.
I’m not saying that you stop thinking about it all together, but obsessing about it, talking about it with every single friend day in day out will make your experience worse and will keep you from being able to move on .
This will help you stop overthinking:
Set yourself a time during the day (30mins are more than enough) when you are intentionally thinking about what has happened.
During that time you are writing down all the thoughts. No filtering! You just write your thoughts down as they come into your mind, even if they don’t make sense.
After those 30mins you stop and you go about your day.
Every time you catch yourself thinking about outside the intentional set 30mins you say STOP to yourself. Say it out loud and really mean it, physically write it down or write the word stop in your mind. Do anything that it takes for you stop thinking about the breakup, your ex etc.
Then intentionally shift your thoughts to a different topic that makes you happy.
This will be though in the beginning as we often don’t usually realise what we are thinking about. But I promise you, it will get easier with time.
Tip to heal your broken heart number three:
Set yourself a long-term aim and put all your effort in it. This is a great way to keep you focused on your life and your future rather than your past.
What doesn’t help is keeping yourself distracted in the sense that you are going out parting all the time. Or trying to numb your pain by having sex with other men straight away. This will only make you feel worse.
It’s safe to say that pretty much every single one of us has or will experience heartbreak at some post in our lives.
It’s only understandable that after a heartbreak we want avoid that pain as much as possible.
And yet so many women are reluctant to accept the signs which men show already in the beginning when dating. Signs that tell them that this guy will break their heart.
Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that you won’t be hurt again.
However, you can be conscious about who you are getting involved with and who you are investing feelings and effort in. Which makes it so crucial to not overlook signs (red flags) when we are dating someone.
Great relationships don’t just happen. They are hard work and it takes two people who are willing to put in effort.
By choosing someone who isn’t compatible with us, or only shows minimal interest and doesn’t put in any effort makes it impossible to build a happy relationship.
If you have a love question you need help with drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.