When should you have sex with him and the (in?)famous “Third Date Rule”.
I‘m in this group for dating on Facebook.
The other day one girl asked whether it is true that men expect a woman to have sex with him latest on the third date as otherwise the guy will be off.
The answers were mixed. But generally it appears that women are under the assumption that they kind of have to have sex with the guy latest at the third date, if they want to keep him interested.
If you would ask a guy about the Third Date Rule he would obviously confirm that this is the case. The reason for this is clear. He has an agenda as he wants to get in your pants.
However, I KNOW as a fact and from talking with many men about this topic, that they would keep dating a woman IF they are genuinely interested.
Read the section below from a conversation I only recently had with a guy about this topic:
Me: What is your opinion about the “Third Date Rule”?
Him: If a woman doesn’t have sex with me latest on the third date, I’m done and move on.
Him: Because if I just want to have sex, three dates are more than enough. After that, chances are little that she would sleep with me any time soon. I move on and look for another woman to have sex with.
Me: But what if she ticks all the boxes? If you really like her and if you are genuinely interested in her? What if she doesn’t sleep with you by the third date? Would you still date her?
Him: Pause. Well… yes. If I really like her I would keep dating her. But only if I’m really into her. There are tons of women who are happy to have sex even before the third date. I don’t want to put in too much effort, money or waste my time with a woman I only want to have sex with.
Still think it’s a good idea to have sex with him on the third date?
Don’t get me wrong. Yes, there are the rare couples who have slept with each other on the first date and still live happily ever after. But this is RARE! So why risking it?
Do you really want to be the woman who has slept with him, because she was easy to get?
Because this is what it essentially means, when he says that he doesn’t want to put in too much effort and / or money.
Also, a man senses when you are sleeping with him out of fear that he may lose interest if you don’t. The funny thing is, this is when a man loses interested in you.
If a guy disappears after the third date because you didn’t have sex with him – CONGRATULATIONS! You’ve just ditched a guy who totally would have wasted your time.
You would have ended up hurt and confused. Probably ending up chasing after him, which would have made you feel even worse.
This type of guy would have slept with you a few more times to then disappear because you’ve mentioned the word relationship.
Or, he would have told you that he is not ready for a relationship but really enjoys being with you. So you would have continued sleeping with him. Hoping to convince him that you are the one. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work this way.
Dating someone longer than three times and until he knows you as a person (not just an object to have sex with) is a great way to see how interested he actually is.
Don’t throw this opportunity away.
If you just want to have ‘fun’, go for it. There are women who don’t mind seeing a guy just for sex.
Although, with the women I know, this always ended in a disaster.
In the end just having sex wasn’t enough for them. Even if they didn’t neccessarily wanted to be in a relationship with the guy, they still expected to be treated with a certain level of respect, which they weren’t, because they didn’t earn that respect.
Read more about “How to get a guy to respect you” here.
If you have a love question you need help with drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.