We’ve all been there…
You see a guy you really like. Whether it is in a bar or a club, on your way to work, maybe even at work or wherever.
You’ve set your mind on this one guy and you’ve been thinking about how to get to talk to him as he seems to be shy or doesn’t seem to have even noticed you.
You keep seeing him and you start to get impatient, thinking about how to approach him.
One day you decide to make the first move. Men love confident women right? We live in the 21st century, women and men are equal, right?
Erm, not quite…This is one of the biggest wrong assumption women have about men! Women and men are equalyes, but we are not the same.
Walking up to a guy asking him for his phone number or out on a date is a mistake!
Why? Because you are presenting yourself to him on a silver plate. For him you will look like you are needy or desperate and you are devaluing yourself. You are devaluing yourself because a man appreciates you more if he has to invest in you first. He doesn’t have to prove to you the he is worth you time and attention. You are just giving it to him. He even may think, that you are giving your attention that easily to any men. There is no question for the guy whether you like him or not. He then knows that you are into him.
But what if he is just shy? I hear you asking.
When he seems to be too shy to approach you, it usually means he is not interested in you enough to make the first step. I’m afraid, that’s the hard truth. However, there are ways to find out whether he is actually shy or he is not interested. But it is not to approach him and to ask him for his number. You need to do it in a feminine way, by giving him signs, suggesting that you MAY be interested. That you won’t bite his head off when he comes over to talk to you but
I’ve seen it so many times during my time working as a barkeeper. A girl has set her eyes on a particular guy but he doesn’t make any effort to approach her, so she walks over to get his phone number as she believes he is too shy to approach her. Then the girl leaves and I see the same guy approaching other girls in the same night…
Trust me on this. He is not shy.
There are three reasons why you should never pursue a guy.
Reason number one:
With you approaching him first you are taking away all the fun for him. You are taking away the challenge to get you. For a man to really fall for you, you need to be a challenge!
Reason number two:
If you are pursuing the guy you will not be able to see his level of interest in you. Would he have sex with you? Most likely yes. Would he invest in you to be in a long term relationship with you? High likely no. Even worse, chances are that he will not take you serious neither will he treat you with respect.
Reason number three:
Knowing his level of interest is crucial and the only way to find out whether he is playing with you or if he is only interested in getting in your pants.
So please, please, please spare yourself from unnecessary heart break. If you see a guy you really like don’t pursue him! Only give him little hints so he can never be too sure that you are actually into him!
If you have a love question you need help with drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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